Growing old should not be synonymous with loneliness

Ageing is a topical issue. Reflections on it will always be necessary and represent an invitation to great reflection. Let's start with a brief story: John, 79, was recently widowed. His wife, Edith, 72, died of multiple organ failure after a long stay in hospital. She had many health problems, which had become increasingly serious and fragile. The couple have two children and three grandchildren who live abroad. João is retired, and the couple lived for each other. Their relationship had always been one of affection, love and companionship. João had many friends, most of whom have passed away. He was never very social in places like the gym or church.

This fictional story is actually a brief account of frequent stories that I, you and any other ordinary person may have come across. We know that the average Brazilian has a life expectancy of 76.6 years. And with families getting smaller and children becoming more distant due to life circumstances, it's natural for ageing to be accompanied by moments of loss, distancing and the need to readjust and cope.

Loneliness and solitude are different concepts. While loneliness translates into a feeling of isolation and sadness at being alone, solitude is the conscious and positive choice to live more alone. The effects of each on physical and mental health are quite different. Loneliness generally negatively influences the functioning of brain areas such as the prefrontal cortex, amygdala and hippocampus, regions responsible for emotional regulation, memory and decision-making. It's as if the individual is living in a chronic situation of stress. Solitude, on the other hand, voluntarily carries the desire to be alone for activities such as meditation, study and work, bringing feelings of peace, tranquillity and personal satisfaction.

The effects of loneliness today have not only been observed in the elderly. Data published in the Report of the Commission on Social Connectedness of the World Health Organization (WHO) indicates that one in six people in the world is affected by loneliness (Laboissière, 2025). WHO director-general Tedros Adhanom's statement is assertive: “In this age where the possibilities of connection are infinite, more and more people feel isolated and lonely”. The report also shows that loneliness affects young people and people living mainly in low- and middle-income countries. It is estimated that loneliness affects one in three older people and one in four teenagers.

In the work Old age: phase of regeneration of the Spirit, By Abel Glaser and Adriana Glaser, by the Spirit Cairbar Schutel, the spiritual author reflects that, because we are sociable beings, loneliness tends to be a negative feeling, in which the individual starts to have a more pessimistic view of the world, with frequent contrariness and hopelessness. In terms of thoughts, it's common for the loner to abandon contact with other people, sometimes nurture bad introspective feelings and not be very open to expanding their capacity to love others.

The author also points out that loneliness can be part of a process or phase of atonement, or a test to be overcome. He says that loneliness is not an adequate resource for spiritual progress. Generally, feeling helpless and abandoned facilitates the emergence of bad feelings, deepening the being into a more lasting state of sadness and melancholy. It's as if loneliness prevents people from developing in the various forms of charity and fraternity.

Living alone is quite different from being alone or feeling lonely. It's not uncommon to find people living with family members who don't feel supported by them, in other words, they feel alone. The author highlights a key piece of information in the book: high spiritual communities are one of the proofs that fraternal coexistence between Spirits is non-negotiable, because exchanges, experiences, working together and the effort to learn to deal with differences are ways of learning to do good and cultivating love.

Finally, there is one last reflection to be found in the aforementioned work: “Old age is not a hut in the wilderness of life, where only individuality is cultivated until the disincarnation is reached; on the contrary, it is the ultimate phase of reincarnation, from which all possible strength must be extracted to live together, learning the good that has ceased to be lived and unlearning the evil that may have been practiced.”.

I'd like to wish all our readers a Merry Christmas and a happy 2026 with many achievements and many lessons learned from exchanges and fraternal coexistence!

Luís Gustavo Mariotti is a doctor specializing in Geriatrics at the Escola Paulista de Medicina, with a specialty in Palliative Medicine, and coordinator of the Palliative Care Department of the Associação Médico-Espírita do Brasil (AME-Brasil).

References

LABOISSIÈRE, Paula. WHO: one in six people in the world is affected by loneliness. Agência Brasil, July 1, 2025. Available at: https://agenciabrasil.ebc.com.br/geral/noticia/2025-07/oms-uma-em-cada-seis-pessoas-no-mundo-e-afetada-pela-solidao. Accessed on: 30 Nov. 2025.

SCHUTEL, Cairbar (Spirit). Old age: phase of regeneration of the Spirit. Psychographed by Abel Glaser and Adriana Glaser. Matão, SP: Casa Editora O Clarim, 2021.